iamonlydorb:

sucysucyfivedolla:

the inside of your butt is warm enough to hardboil an egg

oh no I’m not falling for this one again

(via cokeflow)

sweeneytad:

*dentist slaughters family in front of you*

they’re bleeding because you don’t floss

(via vainegotism)

meladoodle:

sext: why aren’t you responding to me haha

(via fuckyeahloldemort)

jimbertimber:

coming out to your parents by saying swiggity swag guess whos a fag

(via lepreas)

dampsandwich:

the entire school was burning down and i had to pull the fire alarm. i sprinted over to it. there was writing on it in permanent ink. it said: if you pull this down you are gay. no way was i pulling the fire alarm anymore

(via nudesforfood)

vandalswithjetpacks:

The idea that people had sex before the 20th century really freaks me out. Like George Washington probably got a blow job and that makes me uncomfortable.

(via nudesforfood)

fffcuk:

*clears throat, taps microphone* boys *applause*

(via beyoncebeytwice)